11-06-25 - I have thoughts on men

heyyyy, long time no see!! It's been *checks watch* eight months seen I last updated, and a government shut down happened, I had a panic attack, and I devolped a new hyperfixiation, wow. 11th grade has been alright, still counting down the days until I fricking graduate then I can hopefully stay out of this foresaken house as long as I possibly can, maybe find some actually non-homophobic people for once. I literally can't stand this place, my dad's screaming, my mom's passive agressiveness, nothing really against my brother tbh he's cool.
I've started to listen to Sherlock & Co, and WOWWWWW it's so good, people said it was really good but I'm blown away, especially in Scandel in Bohemia and Sign of Four, those were so good, props to the actors! Can't help but to relate to John a bit, like when he starts saying how he doesn't feel like himself, more like an extention of Sherlock, I couldn't help but to think back to my old relationship a bit. Also him in the moors thinking he's gone insane, DUDE I FEEL YOU SO MUCH. There's so much more I could ramble on about, but I will cut myself short so this entire blog post isn't one huge list.
Another thing, nobody tells you how hard it is to pretend to be straight, especially in high school with a very religious friend group. Having a crush on your best friend of seven years, while your mom and friends try to set you up with your childhood friend is very hard not to blow up in their faces or accidently let slip anything. That's how my homecoming went, forced to slow dance with my friend who I desperately hope does not have a crush on me due to the fact he deals poorly with rejection, HE LITERALLY LOOKED LIKE A SAD DOG WHEN I TOLD HIM I HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT. Ughhhhh nothing against anyone, it's the stupid translators of the Bible for making poor word choices. I woke up in the middle of the night a couple days ago after a dream where I made out with my best friend, great fabulous to try and not think about that for the rest of my life. Sorry for this being kind of negative, I promise more good things have happened in my life it's just a lot of bad things have happened lately.
Also II season four released a couple weeks ago along with BFDI: TPOT 20!! Both were so good, I was legit shaking in my seat during tpot, could not sit normally for one second while I was watching MY FIXATION OF OVER NINE MONTHS. My dad had to go with me (boo), but whatever it was so sick!! One has to be my favorite villian of all time next to Cyn and perhaps Moriarty. Anyways, I'll try to post more, have a good day!